Doh, Ohio
The Butler County Visitors Bureau in Ohio rolled out the Donut Trail earlier in January, announcing the county boasted a doughnut shop for every 20,000 residents — one of the highest numbers of shops per capita in the Midwest, according to someone who’s counting. BCVB director Mark Hecquet said the trail is a “great way to explore Butler County” — and undoubtedly add some bulge to the butt.
Very high heel
A town in southwest Taiwan is building a “church” in the form of a Brobdingnagian high-heel shoe made of metal and blue glass tiles. When completed, the structure will stand nearly 56 feet tall at the heel and 36 feet wide. Despite its name, the Cinderella-inspired building will not host religious services. Its goal is to attract tourists.
Super-size shoes
Speaking of big shoes, new science from Cambridge’s Department of Zoology explains why Spider-Man can’t exist. The study, a look at how animals scale smooth, vertical surfaces, suggests the superhero would need size 114 sticky feet to walk up a wall like a gecko.
Brits diss The Donald
British Parliament formally debated a proposal to ban Donald Trump for his hate speech against Muslims after more than 500,000 Brits signed a petition supporting such a ban. Although no final vote was taken, Trump was repeatedly denounced as “a buffoon,” “a demagogue” and “a joke.” One member referred to Trump as “an idiot” five times in three minutes, according to The Washington Post.
Resigning reign
Stormy Keffeler resigned her title of Miss Washington USA after pageant officials learned she failed to disclose a DUI conviction. She was stopped by police last April for driving on flat tires and was arrested for driving under the influence. She pleaded guilty and served two days in jail a month before she won the crown.
Big fish, little pool
“Duuun dun duuun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun BOM.” Florida wildlife officials were called on to find out how a five-foot blacktip shark ended up making a splash in a swimming pool in Hypoluxo. The woman who found the shark said she saw two young men running from the pool.
Papal Fiat
One of two Fiats used by Pope Francis during his September 2015 visit to Philadelphia was to be auctioned on Jan. 29 as part of the Philadelphia Auto Show black tie gala. Proceeds were earmarked for select archdiocesan ministries and The Children’s Hospital of Pennsylvania. Francis has made a point of using modest cars to emphasize simplicity.
Fresh junk
Nadkins is the very apt name for a new men’s grooming product designed to refresh gentlemen’s crotches. The moist wipes, also dubbed “Male Jewels Refresher Towelettes,” were created by Joe Caccamo, who said in a news release, “Let’s face it, when a man is uncomfortable down there, he is generally uncomfortable all over, making for a miserable day.”
Single white female seeks…
A new dating website debuted in time for Valentine’s Day: wherewhitepeoplemeet.com. The service made a splash when a billboard went up in Utah, where about 88 percent of the population is white, according to census data. The billboard, which has since been removed, showed a white couple in an embrace and encouraged passersby to “join for free today!” — provided they’re white.
Wisconsin’s Don Quixote
Manitowoc police say an intruder at Lincoln High School wanted to get to the top of the school’s tower because he thought he was a knight in a castle. Police Capt. Larry Zimney says the 58-year-old man admitted to using marijuana and alcohol before the incident, which prompted a brief lockdown. The man was hallucinating but, thankfully, unarmed.
Health concern
A passenger with uncontrollable flatulence prompted a fellow airline passenger to hand a note to a flight attendant: “I don’t know if you can make an announcement. But if you can, you should say that whoever is farting in the areas of rows 10 to 12 should definitely see a doctor because they might have ass cancer.”
Dude, don’t forget breath mints
White Castle’s 25th annual Valentine’s Dinner includes sliders, shrimp nibblers and strawberry and cream waffles. “For a lot of our Cravers, White Castle is where they first met, so enjoying sliders together on Valentine’s Day brings back a feeling of nostalgia,” said Jamie Richardson, vice president of White Castle.